The Awkward Moment
Last week, my colleague’s project update included the line: "Let’s delve into the synergistic leverage points."
We locked eyes. He knew I knew.
It wasn’t the idea—it was the uncanny valley of corporate-speak.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
- Trust evaporates: “Is this person hiding behind AI?”
- Authenticity dies: Robotic language feels icy in emails, eerie in blogs.
- You become replaceable: If your voice = ChatGPT’s, why hire you?
“My client said my proposal ‘sounded like a manual.’ I pasted it into ChatGPT. It said: ‘99% match to my style.’ Ouch.”
— Freelancer on Reddit
The Telltale Phrases (and Why They Feel Off)
1. "Delve"
- Why it’s suspicious: Rare in speech. AI loves it.
- Fix: “We need to dig through this data – I’ll grab coffee.”
2. "Tapestry"
- Why it’s suspicious: Cliché metaphor. ChatGPT’s favorite.
- Fix: “Here’s the messy truth: 3 conflicting insights, and how we’ll navigate them.”
3. "In today’s rapidly evolving landscape..."
- Why it’s suspicious: Filler phrase. No substance.
- Fix: “Our industry shifted last Tuesday. Here’s what got flipped.”
4. "It’s important to note that..."
- Why it’s suspicious: AI throat-clearing.
- Fix: “Deadlines are stone-cold firm – no wiggle room.”
5. "Synergistic" / "Leverage"
- Why it’s suspicious: Overused jargon.
- Fix: “We’ll save 10 hours/week by merging these tools.”
6. "Furthermore..."
- Why it’s suspicious: Academic tone. Rare in speech.
- Fix: “And get this: the metrics tanked after lunch breaks.”
7. "In conclusion, it is evident that..."
- Why it’s suspicious: Over-formal signoff.
- Fix: “Bottom line: We’re bleeding cash. Here’s the fix.”
Why We Fall Into the Robot Trap (It’s Not Laziness)
- Fear of “sounding dumb”
- Time pressure
- The “competency illusion”: thinking stiff = smart
“I used ChatGPT to sound ‘smarter.’ My boss said I seemed ‘less human.’”
How to Humanize AI Text in 3 Minutes
Step 1: Hunt the "Uncanny Valley" Phrases
Ctrl+F for: delve, tapestry, leverage, furthermore, in conclusion. Delete 90%.
Step 2: Inject Glorious Imperfection
- Use contractions
- Use fragments
- Use personal pronouns
Step 3: The "Grandma Test"
Would your grandma understand it? If not, simplify.
When AI Should Sound Like AI
- Technical documentation
- Code comments
- Legal disclaimers
Everywhere else? Be a human.
The Bigger Picture: Write Like You’re Talking to a Friend
AI is your brainstorming buddy—not your ghostwriter.
Your voice matters: flaws, quirks, and all.
“My most viral tweet? ‘This meeting could’ve been a nap.’ Zero ChatGPT. All human regret.”
Try This Now
- Paste the robotic sentence.
- Add a typo.
- Crack a joke.
- Boom: You’re human again.
About the Author
Jamie Rivera edits AI-generated corporate sludge by day and writes angry poetry about toasters by night. Their cat is unimpressed by both. They believe "synergy" should be banned until 2030.
📌 Key Takeaway:
Use AI for ideas. Use YOUR voice for impact.
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